Like begets like, money begets honey, life begets ...

By S.D. Sycther

Coco Jumbo

Yes… Now don’t laugh at the heading. I know it has been common to have such a heading. But I am not a monkey, okay and not the big one like you. I still think how the Spanish explorers made such a big mistake. They must have thought it twice. “Let’s us name him ‘monkey’.” How does it even exist? “Monkey nut”… How … How can one keep such a name? If one is still thinking let me make it very sure that I am not the chocolate which you had it just that afternoon.

My eyes

There has been a thing about my eyes, which has pissed off many people in almost all the generations and in all the cultures. There have been many legends about it. No wonder the Spanish named me a monkey. Some say piercing the eyes gives good luck; some say the real secret to open the coconut is the eyes. Some people call it ugly as hell. There have been stories where I have been depicted as the deer-eyed person who has irritated a sage once by falling on his head and so he gave me a curse and today they pierce my eyes. How dangerous!!! This is what I call perverseness. In one hand you consider those spots as eye and on the other hand, you think of piercing it. Piercing would be a nice term for it, you think of punching a rod through my eyes. God damn!!! Even ISIS is better than you.

The Modification

The way of breaking me has been different in various cultures. Some have sorted to thrash my head to the hardest surface till it breaks and blood comes out. Some have resorted to the making holes thing. Some use the Drill and some use the sickle based on the stage of mine, the purposes of gifting me the crack and they call it a modification. The situation is so extreme that they call it bereavement comes once so if one can make a crack in the first attempt and when the blood comes out, he is said to be lucky. Amazing isn’t it. But when you have to kill, how does it matter whether you kill it in a jiffy or in an hour? , they say it pains less. Our pain is beyond your realization, Mr. Humans. You better eat coconuts; maybe someday you shall realize that what it feels to be a coconut one day.

The conspiracy

The conspiracy as the market analysts would like to call. A research in the 1960s aimed at the fat reduction foods and other sorts of important stuff. They alleged my involvement in making other people fat and unhealthy. But the conspiracy is to be taken seriously since; they told that had mono-saturated fat, so they had decided to abandon me. I was deserted like a wild child. It was an incomplete report they had filed and just to bring in the vegetable oil point. They practiced this so-called false advertising and bought the low cholesterol hoax was in the market. It is now even playing a gigantic role in the market. It is the people’s ignorance that has forced the people to think that coconut is really terrible.

Now, when the vegetable oil has reduced at prices, the MBA people have started bringing out the benefits of coconut oil and stuff like that. How rude… But the Hawaiians are clever; they might know more about coconut oil since they use it as a remedy for everything.

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